Couples Therapy & Marriage Counseling
In-person in Manhattan or Virtually from NY & Florida
My work with couples is grounded primarily in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), a well-researched and empirically supported approach to couples’ treatment.
At its core, EFT addresses two powerful and often competing psychological forces: the desire for emotional closeness and the fear of vulnerability. In intimate relationships, the tension between these forces can give rise to repetitive and distressing interpersonal cycles that are difficult to change without guidance. A common example is a cycle in which one partner makes increasing efforts to connect, while the other, feeling pressured or overwhelmed, withdraws in order to avoid conflict or prevent conflicts from escalating. That withdrawal, however, is often experienced by the first partner as disinterest or rejection, leading them to intensify their efforts – thereby reinforcing the cycle.
The initial phase of EFT focuses on identifying and clarifying these cycles and on helping both partners develop a shared understanding of how each person’s perceptions, emotions, and responses contribute to their persistence. As this understanding deepens, the work shifts toward exploring and expressing underlying needs and vulnerabilities in a more direct and constructive way.
With the therapist’s guidance and facilitation, couples begin to experiment with new forms of communication that gradually replace reactive patterns with interactions that over time feel safer and more responsive.
As with individual therapy, the first appointment is consultative. It offers each partner an opportunity to describe what has prompted them to seek therapy at this time, as well as what they hope to see change if the therapy were successful. That first appointment usually also includes an initial review of the relationship’s history, with attention to moments each partner considered particularly meaningful or defining.
Toward the end of the session, I describe the EFT approach in more detail. I also share with the couple my initial impression of the cycles contributing to their current difficulties and go over how couple’s therapy might help to address them. Time is also reserved for any questions either partner may have about my practice and about the therapy process.